Hello there everyone,

It is with a great deal of consideration that I have decided to unpublish The Fallout. I simply came to realize that it wasn’t being received in the way I’d intended, and it was causing me a great deal of distress. I never, ever want to cause any harm with the writing I put out into the world, and I think there were narrative aspects of the story that were being perceived as hurtful, though that naturally wasn’t my intent.

I think it is important for people to have space to create, but part of inhabiting those spaces means being considerate and responsible about what we make; it means listening to criticisms and learning from them, too. It was pointed out to me and emphasized repeatedly that my choice to make the main character, Noah Smith, a flawed, controversial character while also being LGBTQ+ wasn’t sitting right with some folks. Though I stand by the overall message of forgiveness I intended, I am willing to admit I might’ve stumbled in my attempts at delivering that message.

I know that there is a demand for LGBTQ+ characters that represent all aspects of personality, flaws, moral views and other realistic dimensions; however I’ve reflected and decided that perhaps this particular story, in its particular time in place in history, is not the best venue for those dynamics to be explored.

I apologize for the mistake. I will do my best to write things better in the future.

~ Kaycee


2 responses to “Unpublished”

  1. Oh boy… I’ve never read The Fallout, but as an author, I really don’t like to see a fellow writer feel the need to backtrack.
    Controversy and distress is the pillar of meaningful fiction. I imagine Nathanial Hawthorne got some hate for Scarlett Letter – a novel which was surely controversial in its time.
    Lolita – yeah, that probably didn’t go well in 1960s suburbia. Even by today’s standards, it’s disturbing.
    I may be coming at this from the wrong angle. Maybe it’s not my place to say. But I’m going to anyway, just in case it matters.
    A writer should never feel the need to back off from what they have to say. Yeah, sometimes we step on toes. Sometimes on purpose. Sometimes not. But here’s the thing. The only guarantee of avoiding hate, controversy and hurt feelings is dead silence.
    And that is worth nothing.
    Your words, however they were intended, even if they are “misguided” in the eyes of some – surely are worth more than that.


    1. Hello there Michael.

      Thank you for saying that. I’ve wrestled with this notion as well. In the end, it isn’t even so much that I don’t think an author ought to be able to speak on controversial things – I believe we should be able to speak freely in our work, and I think it is important we do so. Mostly, I was feeling hurt that people I intended to lift up in my writing felt like I’d done the opposite, and that was something I couldn’t live with. I’m not afraid to upset the people I disagree with, but upsetting the ones I do agree with and mean to help really just felt like something about my writing missed the mark and wasn’t right. In the end, that’s what led me to my decision to unpublish.


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